It’s all in your head.
Hi loves,
Of all the exercises I learned in my coaching program, my favorite is the Immunity to Change Map. This tool can be used to help someone struggling to make a change by uncovering the competing beliefs that are getting in the way; Having a desire to lose weight but also the value of always finishing your plate, or wanting to have better boundaries but being committed to the identity of not letting people down. We often make big assumptions that will end up driving our behavior if we’re not willing to look deeper. Moving through this process can also create more self compassion as you realize that you’re not lazy, you’re just operating on belief patterns that no longer serve you.
I see this as a much more compassionate (and therefore productive) way to approach change. If we can accept that there is a part of us that thinks this resistance is for our own good, then we can redirect that energy towards a different solution rather than fight against it or feel stuck and resentful. I am personally interested in doing parts work or Internal Family Systems (IFS) to further explore where I have these conflicts and get everyone on board (like my own version of Inside Out.)
I know I’ve said this before, but rather than try harder the best approach is to get curious as to why something isn’t working and be creative in your problem solving.
And I’d love to help you do just that! Sign up for a free 20 minute consult and let’s get you unstuck.
Groups & Workshops
My peri-menopause group launches May 18th!
Let’s gather at the freshly opened Faultline Gallery in Oakland. We will meet on a monthly basis to discuss all things peri. Join us!
For more information and to register please visit alexandrazappacosta.com/groups
I’ll see you there!
Resources, but make it all books
Beyond Anxiety
by Martha Beck
I started listening to this when even my most benign podcast felt too noisy, and I stayed for the soothing, validating and practical tips on how to cultivate a more peaceful self. I love her exercise of imagining your anxiety creature–mine is a chinchilla!
Me, But Better
by Olga Khazan
As someone who’s motto in high school was “accept yourself long enough to change”, this book is my jam. I love the mix of honest anecdotes and thorough research as well as the hopeful message that we are not totally stuck with ourselves if we are willing to grow.
Good Energy
by Casey Means, MD
So much of the work I do with clients is around energy management and this book is an amazing tool for addressing this issue on a cellular level. I think women especially are underpowered in our modern lifestyle and I hope this approach is the future of medicine.*
*I was about to send this out when I read the news about Casey Mean’s nomination. Honestly I’m not sure what to make of it yet but I am still enjoying the book for now.
